Category: Let's talk
hi,
I've been a zone member for awhile now, and I've got one issue.
I've noticed an extreme amount of insulting and drama going back and forth on the boards, and in quick notes. I thought this was an open place ware people
can come and meet others. Well, quite frankly, I feel that this place isn't as open as descriptions makes it out to be. The people of others insults
are in my opinion very sensitive, and don't deserve to have their personalities degraded just to make someone else feel good! It takes someone with very little heart who is willing to post about who their willing to bang or not bang publicly. I'm not saing tha everyone on thezone seems to have no heart, just a good porssion. If you wish you can send your comments to my email address, or any other way. Thanks, Ray.
Well on one side I agree wit hyou. However ... drama is almost everywhere. Just stay out of the drama it you are fine. That is all I can say. I agree though, the ones who are rude to others ... should think about how they would feel if others were rude to them.
Yeah. Unfortunately with freedom of speech here, there are going to be people who take that chance to insult others and make up "fun" posts wich they know will cause drama, but these topics are more popular because of that. All you can really do is not involve yourself in any of that by turning off public QN's or ignoring the drama and insults on there when it comes up, and to not participate in Boards that you find offensive. For instance, I occasionally look at the Grafiti Boards and some of the posts because if people wonna make their private lives public and it looks interesting, I'll read it. Unless someone involves me personally, I won't participate, but even if they do, I will just say what I have to say and leave. There's really no point in insulting them or arguing with them because I can find better things to do than letting them get me angry, but I do just speak my mind and leve it ath that. Otherwise, I just post to whatever other posts I have an opinion on or where I can help someone.
Ray I agree with you absolutely and I'm sick and tired of the constant abuse and shallow posts, it seems the Zone is careering downhill with very dodgy brakes.
I think generally it comes down to the intelligence of the users, or lack thereof. I also think that it depends on your interpretation of freedom of speech. Freedom of speech does mean that you have the freedom to express your views on certain subjects etc, but it doesn’t actually mean that you can name call and can refer to certain individuals in whatever way you see fit without consequence. Recently a case came to light in this country where a user of an online chatroom took legal action against another user in the same chatroom because she called him a nadzi. And he won. So never think that you can say whatever you want about whoever you want and that there won’t potentially be consequences.
As for people saying that you “get drama everywhere”, I don’t agree. I frequent several online communities and this is the only one that appears to play like a soap opera. Also, most online message forums are moderated and while this can be frustrating when messages are withdrawn due to their content, users quickly learn that it is better to be civil and act like adults if they want their point of view to be heard. You can say the same thing without having to do it in a manner which is offensive to all.
As for the drivel that is written on the graffiti boards, to be honest that’s why they’re called graffiti boards, because the kinds of comments written on there are similar to those one might find scrawled on the walls of a high school toilet.
hmm, as a user of both quick notes and the boards, sometimes i find it difficult to believe how shallow some people can get, but i'm not certain that just because you post to a certain board you are shallow, i think what goes on in graffiti is a lot worse than what happens here.
i think also people who bang on agbout how they've been degraded are also intollerable to an extent, because they don't know how to just turn the other cheek.
Well, I have to say, some of these drama-makers are actually my friends. But I am not ashamed to sometimes say that they should stop insulting certain people. And actually ... I might have contributed in some of these "drama"-topics, but my intention was not just to insult the others, but just to say my opinion.
The drama queens are looking for attention with a weed the only answer is silence.
um...a weed? not sure i get it but hey.
I think it all comes down to the IQ of the poster. Some of us are abbrasive--Goblin you know who I'm talking about--but you have something to say, and you say it well. Others of us--I know who I am talking about--keep my QNs turned off and don't let it bother me. Where ever there is discussion there will be disagreements. Where ever there are adults there will be civil discussion, (except for George Bush <grin>).
Bob
I couldn't help following up on my last post. In reading the most recent posts I ran across one called "my thoughts, and forgiveness." I have never seen such juvenile dribble in my life. Obviously, the poster was serious, and most of what she got was crap. Why? I don't know, but, "is it appropriate?" hell no. Maybe we need a special board for people who never grew up.
Bob
Welcome to the real world. Although you may hear a lot of drama and insults thrown. You will hear that every where you go. It's all in the way you handle it!. If you blow it off and don't keep adding to it, then the better off you will be! Some here just thrive on putting others down. It's when you slam back, that they enjoy it all the more. Yeah, immaturity runs wild here. You'll have that every where. So learn to ignore it and do your own thing. Easier said than done I know! But, it will save you a lot of hassle in the long run. Good luc
I have to agree there, Bob. Drama - or disagreement - it#s everywhere. Just try not to involve too much. See, in real life I have drama in my class. Here I have the ignore button. There, I don't. So either I try just to go outside (in the break), or i try not to let it get to me so easily.
I have to agree with what Goblin says on this topic. The best way to respond is by not responding at all, because people only say stupid and insulting things in the first place for the reaction that they'll get. If they don't get a reaction they'll stop doing it. That would be tant amount to talking to yourself and that's really no fun. By reacting to what's being said you are in fact just fanning the flames.
I've discovered that.
To some extent i blame the administrators or monitors. They say what goes on here, and apparently they don't care what goes on here. If this keeps up, people will start staying away from the boards and that will be a shame, but it will happen. Then those who choose to hide behind a firewall and spread their slime will have won and the rest of us will have lost.
after this one is history.
Oh well, there will be other boards.
Bob
On the other hand bob, again referring to your idea of making a board for the people who never grew up ... it won#t change a thing. There will still be posts of these people in other boards, and there will certainly be quicknotes of them. So this is not really a solution. I don't know another solution though ... it#s just difficult to deal with.
The solution isn't necessarily easy. See, this thing about why can't we all just get along because we're all on the same website is a nice dream, but people aren't ready to do that in real life yet. Until we all figure out that all the bickering and drama isn't necessary, we'll do it and we'll like doing it and we'll make up excuses why we do it. So for now, my own advice is to avoid drama, pick and choose very carefully what you read here on the boards, and turn off public Quicknotes and perhaps private ones. I also don't think causing drama is a matter of IQ or this other dream substance called maturity. Even adults have feelings and their buttons will be pressed, and we'll not just act like a logical person like others think we're supposed to. You don't just lose your illogical and irrational side when you turn 21 or leave college and get a job. Some people are just jerks, others are just insecure and paranoid, and still others see advantages in playing the victim. So there you go.
Hi Ray,
I agree with you totaly. People seem to love putting certain posts down because they feel its unnecessary or boring. I was talking abut mirc with speech in the geeks are us board, and this certain user thought it boring, so she asked, wonderwoman, how long are you going to continue posting to this topic/ Well, I think the best way to handle people like that is to shoot it back to them once then zap the ignore on them, that'll get em, lol. I think being on here has changed me to a degree. Wjhen i first came on here, i was very cautioujs and so carefuly about not starting anything that might lead to any sort of conflict, I thought for days and days about how to post something that woulodn't get me flamed. I've gotten a bit better, or worse, depending on your perception of it. I express my opinion more, don't put anyone down, or call anyone names, I'm just honest in my opinions and my preferences. So as long as I know i'm not deliberately doing anything intentionaly to start anything, I speak my mind. This doesn't mean mean i try to force anyone to my opinion, tye can either accept it or reject it, most reject it. I don't come here quite as often as i use to, have other things, including mirc, and have met some very nice sighted pppl on that. If i see a post I agree with or or sympathize with, I will respond and give my support if possible and if anyone doesn'td like it they don't have to read it. If a person is nice and polite though honest, i will try to respect his point of view, but if and when i feel someone is puttting me down unnecessarily, I will respond back at least once, then put the person on my ignore list. So i understand how you feel. I don't usuallyread or post in this board much anymore, but come here occasionaly and pick a topic i understand with and can relate to. Good luck, and if you feel people are trying to get you to leave by being mean and insulting, don't let them do it. I' know there will probably come a time when there won't be any nice people on here, and each and every post you make will get flamed, no matter how innocent, and when that day comes, I will leave, set all my options so i can't receive private mail at all, and set it so i won't get site updates, but yeah, i'm still in here once in a while. Take care and have a nice evening,
wonderwoman
I think you can very well avoid drama without turning off any quicknotes. Just try to stay out of it, that's all we can do.
I'd partially agree with what you're saying blbobby about possibly the administration not doing enough to stamp down on some of the things that have been happening on the boards. In particular I don't think that they've gone far enough in the passed to say exactly what is and isn't acceptable though as of this morning, the sight does finally have a terms and conditions page for users to read which they also have to agree with, so there is a good chance that things will get better from now on.
However I do also feel that the users themselves do have a certain responsibility in communities such as this one. After all there is one heck of a lot of quick notes and board posts added to the zone each and everyday and that would be impossible for the limited number of staff to completely vet.
I think as you already have figured from previous discussions, *grin*, I'm not a fan of the ignore feature on this sight. Never the less it is there for a reason and if users feel that they absolutely can't tolerate somebody else then they should make use of it. Between the ignore feature and the long overdue guidelines, I'm sure that the zone can move forward and become a better place for all. I certainly hope so anyway.
I hope you are right, Harp. Frankly, I don't really remember what I signed when I signed that terms-and-conditions statement this morning, and I doubt anyone else does either--but it's a step in the right direction.
I know you aren't a fan of the ignore feature (I almost walked into that argument elsewhere), and I'm still not sure about it. But, I personally haven't used it, and hope I never have to.
I do know that I've seen people really flamed on this site--with lots of drama and fan fare to go with it--and I know that's not right.
As is, though, the zone is a fun place to be. If nothing else, it's a place to discuss what's wrong with the zone.
But, I can say that--I'm not the one flamed and bashed.
Well, as a relative newbee here, I can't help but think how the Zone mirrors life toparaphrase the philosopher. We all have people, places, and groups with whom we want or do not want to be associated. I agree with the statement that Terms and Conditions are a start, but I also see the fine line that the site administrators walk. I tend to be rather selective about what boards I visit, and where I post, just like I am in terms of life in general. I believe this an important discusion, and I'm glad someone brought it up. I was thinking the same thing after looking at some of the posts last night, and how diverse our response are to eachother--ranging from being very caring and supportive to insulting and threatening. I think we all have the power to an extent to control what goes on the boards we frequent.
I try to ignore as rarely as possible. Cause you can't do that in reality either.
no afense but I could name a few people who should be banded for the stuff they have said to each other but you know what it is. It's all who you know.
I should be banned for even laughing at some rude jokes they made once, but hey, at least I regret it. Hee